If you haven't got plans for Valentine's Day yet, you are in big trouble. There are no good restaurant's that can take you. If they have room, they are terrible! All the flowers have been picked over. Wilted flowers will indicate you didn't plan for the day. You are just in big trouble!
Here are some ways you may be able to save your life.
Fake an illness. It needs to be one that is bad enough that you can get sympathy and hopefully she will forget that its Valentine's Day but not one that is so bad that you will have to go to the doctor. If she is concerned about your welfare she might forget that you didn't do anything for her. However, DO NOT TRY THIS TWO YEARS IN A ROW!!! I knew a guy who tried that and he had to have a closed casket funeral. They even had trouble recognizing the remains.
Fake amnesia. Act like you don't know her or what day it is. Insist that you don't know who you are either. Tell her that you fell and lost consciousness. When you awakened you didn't know who you were. You might want to hit yourself in the head with something for proof. Be careful when you answer the phone. You can't recognize your mother either. You need a miraculous recovery by Monday so you need to start remembering stuff pretty quick. DON'T REMEMBER THAT ITS VALENTINE'S DAY!!!
Leave town. Suddenly get a phone call that calls you out of town now. It needs to be urgent. You need to leave without explanation. Call her and give her updates on whatever situation you have concocted. It is good to pick some disaster from work. It is not good to say it is the illness of a real person. A real person might just call.
You could tell the truth. You could take your beating. You could apologize. You could do the right thing and cook her a meal at home. You could give her money and tell her to do anything she wants. However, if this is what you did last year, you really are in big, big trouble!
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