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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

How to Make Any Situation Worse

If things aren't bad enough for you, I thought I would let you know how to make them worse.

First, blame all your problems on someone else. This way you don't have to take responsibility for anything. You can take another nap, play another video game or watch another movie rather than looking for a job or trying make more money. Since it is not your fault you can wait for someone to rescue you.

Second, think things will get worse. Tell yourself that things are going to get worse. In fact, things are going to get so bad that there is no hope. Sit in a dark room and mope. You should since you don't have any hope. The best thing to do is sit still and maybe the light will forget about you. Don't believe the sun will come up tomorrow either.

Third, tell yourself that you are a loser. You have to keep doing this until you really believe it. If you are such a loser no one should hire you. No one should trust you. No one should have you on their team. Things are bound to get worse if you will do this until you really believe it. People don't like to hang around with losers. They don't believe losers will ever provide anything that they need.

Fourth, treat others badly. If you can get everyone else feeling as badly as you do then you will not have anyone to help the current situation. They will make things worse so that things will not only feel worse--they will be worse! Make sure that you don't help or give anyone any hope.

Fifth, make sure you don't go to church. The people there should have a message of hope. This could affect you positively. They might tell you that God loves you and wants to give your life purpose. They might tell you that God is the great provider. They might get you to pray. Prayer requires hope. You certainly don't want any of that if you really want things to get worse.

Sixth, close yourself in a dark room. Stop eating. Stop getting any outside information. Stop seeing anyone unless it is to tell them how bad things are and how bad they are going to get.

If you will follow the things I have outlined above you are assured that things will get worse. Please be aware of this warning though: disregarding any of the above ways of making things worse will make things better.

So, do you want to make things worse?

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