When the Hurt Is Too Great

 June 19, 2024

Wednesday

I realize that many people cannot let go of the hurts they have felt in the past. Some of these hurts were so devastating that it is understandable that humans would continue to hurt. There is some measure of protection in remembering hurts. They remind us that we don't ever want to feel them again. But often, the person builds protections around themselves that make new hurts and even hurt others. These people frequently see wolves in the darkness when there aren't any. The trouble is that they think this is perfectly fine because they don't know any other way of living. Often, they are living at a high level of anxiety but cover it up very well.

That is, they are able to appear calm until something others would think is nothing more than an irritation falls on them. Someone appears to criticize them. Someone says something unkind and their facade falls apart. They get emotional beyond what others can understand. Of course, there may be those who will tell them that it will be okay without giving them any solutions for it to be okay. These helpers would rather have the act rather than the true person right in front of them. If they can just get them to stop being emotional, all will be well. That is not the truth.

Professional counselors help. They often challenge the hurt person to confront their hurts. Unlike the movies and TV, this doesn't happen in one session. Also, realizing the problem and even managing it doesn't mean that the hurt person won't fall back into the bitterness trap. Letting go of hurt is extremely hard.

What if this hurt is deeper than an emotional scar? What if the problem is spiritual? If so, dealing with this on a psychological level will not give full healing. If Satan is the accuser of the people of God, why wouldn't he bring this hurt to mind again and again so that the believer would hurt. Hurt people have very little ministry because their hurts keep them from helping others. Hurt people struggle to express their faith to others. Hurt people are injured and cannot be expected to join the battle.

Years ago, I quit asking women who were obviously hurt if they had been sexually abused. The number was astounding. Eventually, I didn't want to know. Yes, I know this is a coward's response. It hurt me to think of them being hurt like that. Yet, I wanted to help and didn't know how. 

I still don't know how but I believe somehow these extremely hurt people must go to Jesus. I often told them that they needed to take their hurt to Jesus. I don't think this is right. I think they must go to Him fully. This is not an act of salvation though salvation is necessary to go to Him. This is not to pray or tell Him the hurts. It is to let Him hold them. Really no words need to be spoken. It is to know He is right there with them. It is knowing that He takes the hurt away. He did so on the cross. This is why Paul makes sense when he says that he has been crucified with Christ.

I wish this was a one-time solution to extremely painful pasts but it isn't. Letting Jesus hold onto you should become a regular part of a quiet time. Not only the sins you have committed are nailed to the cross. The sins against you are nailed there too.

Galatians 2:20 (NASB 2020) ²⁰ I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.