Isn't it amazing that you can hear scads of compliments and soon forget them, but let someone say something bad about you and you will remember it all of your life?
I had a man tell me that his wife told him that she was ashamed that she married him soon after they got married. He admitted that she did so in a fit of rage and would not have said it if she had been calm. However, he remembered those words clearly even though they had been said decades earlier. He was still hurting from these careless words.
Unfortunately, we rehearse those hurtful words if we don't take action to heal from them. It is as if we enjoy picking at the scab until we get the wound infected again. We torture ourselves again and again. I believe it is one of the tactics Satan uses to steal the joy from believers. He reminds us of our past pain and we hurt all over again.
Healing from hurtful word requires a commitment. You must be committed to forgive the person who said those words to you. You must forgive if you are to recover. Hurtful words require the forgiveness of Jesus. They require that you remember that you, too, have been forgiven. You may have been forgiven for saying hurtful words to someone else. Regardless, you have been forgiven for many other things in life. You do not need to make yourself better than others by not giving them forgiveness.
You also need to commit yourself to not bringing up the memory. Some people say that we should forgive and forget. Forgetting hurtful words is one of the hardest things to forget. You have to do your best not to bring that memory to the surface. Yes, I still believe that Satan will remind you of those words but I know you can remind him that you have already forgiven what was said and put this memory out of your mind. Of course, you can also give Satan pleasure by dwelling on those words and going through worse pain. Hurtful words become more hurtful when you dwell on them.
Commit yourself to the picture God has of you. Hurtful words hurt so much because we secretly believe them. We seem to adapt the picture we have of ourselves by what we think others think of us. We generally get our perception of ourselves as such: I am not what I think I am. I am not you what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.
Instead of basing your value on what another has said of you, base it on what the Almighty who knows your heart. He has showered you with love and has incredible plans and works for you. He would not do these things if He didn't know He could trust you. Dwell on His love rather than hurtful words.
Commit yourself to do these things for the rest of your life. Otherwise, you will be overtaken by hurtful words after you think you have mastered them. You will master them but it will take you the rest of your life.
Finally, enlist a close friend to pray for you. Tell the friend that you want to have victory over something that is defeating you. Have them pray for faith and strength in your life. Turn it over to God. He will make you victorious.
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