Men and women were created differently. This does not make us unequal. It makes us different. We communicate differently. We have different hormones. We have different body types. We have different emotions.
We are different so we can compliment each other. A man and a woman marry so that they can raise a family. This family needs a father and mother who are functioning in their respective genders. Together they make a whole. It is the way God intended for a family to be raised.
Problems arise when men and women do not understand that while they are equal, they are not the same. Men do not see their place in the family if the mother can and will take the positions of mother and father. They do not understand the need to have a man, not just a male, in the house. They do not understand because their fathers did not know what it was to be a man. They cowed before their wives, abdicated their role in the family or beat their wives (verbally or physically). None of these responses is a man. They were either trying to keep the mothering protection of a woman or trying to escape the control of a woman. They have no idea how to relate to a woman.
Society has tried to make males and females the same. They try to tell the society that sex is the same for males and females. It isn't. Studies show that a relationship is almost always present when women fantasize about sex. Men fantasize about sex without any commitment. Society says that sex ought not have any commitment. Casual sex is like a casual nuclear war. It doesn't matter how you think about it; it still destroys the landscape for many years to come.
Society says that the husband and wife should be the same in raising the family. While they are equal, the Bible does not say they are the same. The husband is to take the place that Christ has taken with the church. He is to be the servant-leader of the family. He should make whatever sacrifice necessary for his family. The woman is the servant-lover. She is to uphold him as he seeks to please the Lord. The business world reports a 50% failure in businesses where there is an 50/50 partnership. We are seeing about the same result in marriages.
Not every marriage in the Bible is meant to be a good example of what a marriage should be. Some are examples of what not to do. However, there is teaching in the Bible that tells what a marriage should be. There is teaching that tells males and females how they are wonderfully different.
I recommend to every couple I counsel during pre-marital counseling that they do before they are married. I tell them they need to pray together. It has been said that the family that prays together, stays together. It is true. The spiritual intimacy that prayer brings will bind the spirit of the husband and the wife together. I also recommend that they find a good small group. It may be a Sunday School class or a small group that meets at someone's house. This group will be your friends that you share together. They will be the ones to whom you will go when you have hard times. They will be the ones that come to you when they have hard times. They will be the ones who will confront you when you are not acting right. This small group should celebrate the differences between man and woman yet treat each other as equals.
Let's face it: men and women are different. Now, isn't that wonderful?
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