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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Is Your Marriage Fulfilling?

I find that many unmarried people long to be married. Many of these are enamored with marriage. They believe that marriage is all roses and no thorns. Their perspective is skewed because of the distance by which they view marriage. Living with another person is not hard. Being committed until death to another person is. The first is merely friendship; the latter is marriage.

Love is a strange emotion. It seems to have no logic. People say they fall in love. It appears to be a pit covered branches that they have innocently walked over. They are captured in the pit of love and can't get out.

People believe that because they didn't have to do anything to fall in love that they will not have to do anything to stay in love. Thus, they become like many of the tom cats found in Hollywood. They roam from one to another as long as they feel something. Eventually, the relationship takes more work than they are willing to do and they roam on to others.

The continual roaming between partners leaves children who never understand what a marriage should be. It makes marriage less than fulfilling for it never builds upon commitment. Marriage that is built upon emotion without commitment can't last. Emotions can't be trusted.

I am awed at people who are totally committed to each other. There have been several people I have known who went through long terminal illnesses. Their spouses stood by them and cared for them though it brought them tremendous hardship. I have seen these remaining spouses grieve after the loss of their mates even though their deaths made the living spouses lives much easier.

I have heard it said that marriage is twenty-five years trying to figure out if you can live with your spouse followed by twenty-five years believing that you can't live without them. The key to a fulfilling marriage is a lifelong complete commitment by husband and wife to each other. The key is becoming one with each other.

Amazingly, true love is born out of that committed relationship. It is then that you are glad you are married. You have complete confidence in your spouse because he or she is completely committed to you. You stop holding back your affections because you know that commitment exists. You give of yourself freely to one another because the relationship is not based on an emotional roller coaster but on commitment.

However, even this commitment needs help. It needs a spiritual element to perfect it. It needs a strong foundation for both the husband and wife. Becoming one with each other requires a conscious spiritual and physical commitment to one another. The greatest joy in marriage is fellowship that is spiritual and physical. It truly makes for a deep communion with each other. It connects the two even when they are apart.

The only reason that people are single is because they have standards. Eliminate the standards and anyone can be married in a short time. My experience has found that the reasons married people regret their marriages is because they either didn't have any standards or that their standards weren't high enough.

Fulfilling marriages take work by two people who are totally committed to their Lord and each other. These are marriages that last for a very long time. Their commitment to their Lord gives them strength to forgive and serve each other. Their commitment to each other makes them cling to their Lord.

If your marriage isn't fulfilling you must ask yourself where it is lacking. Yes, you can do something about it. You can pray and then obey what the Spirit has told you to do. Renew your relationship even if you need to say your vows to each other again.

Then, let God bless your marriage.

2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (NIV)
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
 
Ephesians 5:31 (NIV)
31  "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Are You Being Ignored?

I see teenagers in some pretty bizarre clothing, jewelry and makeup some days. I ride my bicycle to work past two high schools. Many of the students walk to school each day. They are wearing outlandish boots, dressed all in black or in wild colors, filled their faces with piercings and colored their nails. Some of the boys are wearing makeup and some of the girls are not. Both their actions and their looks scream:

"Don't ignore me!"

They are desperately asking for social interaction. They are insecure in their relationships. They are looking for attention.

I am no psychologist and can't tell you why they are doing so. Maybe they were always raised in daycare and had to do bizarre things to be noticed. Maybe their parents don't know how to interact with them. Maybe they are genuine misfits that no one pays attention to or even attempts to avoid.

I wonder if this is what happened to the young man in Arizona who shot and killed people recently. His crazy questions seem to be a cry to be noticed. Overlooking them made him angry. Violence got him exactly what he wanted. He isn't ignored any more.

Christians are not immune to a desire for attention. They, too, will tattoo, pierce and wear imaginative clothing. They may even use their Christianity to get attention.

Many people think that the world is thinking little of them. The truth is that the world is often not thinking of them at all. The world only wants to belittle those it notices. Criticism is a conscious act. The person undergoing criticism may not like it but he is not being ignored.

The truth is that no one is ignored. The truth is that the most important person in the universe constantly keeps  the one who is completely ignored by the world on His mind. He is constantly desiring the best for that person. He is working always for that best. He is always available. No one else is more important.

Many in the Christian community fail to recognize this. Of course, the world doesn't know He really loves them that much. It's the Christian's duty to tell them of His love.

But how can they tell of something that they haven't realized themselves? How can they say that they know He truly loves everyone constantly when they don't act like it themselves?

God never ignores any of us. He sometimes is silent because He trusts us to act by faith rather than His constant assurances. However, He never ignores us. He never forgets us. He never needs to be made aware of where we are or what we are doing. He never needs to be reminded that we are His children.

He even keeps an account of how many hairs are on our heads.

Now, that's not being ignored, is it?

Matthew 10:29-31 (NIV) 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Uncertain about the Future?

There are plenty of doom-sayers predicting disasters. It seems to sell. I have always wondered why these people charge for their books if they really believe the world will end. What good is money if the world no longer exists?

Many of the prophets of doom predict an almost insurmountable challenge for the existence of mankind. They predict the worthlessness of all currencies, chaos among governments and the destruction of all civilization. Those that appeal to the conservative groups say that it comes through overspending and the failure of governments to act responsibly. Those who appeal to the more liberal groups say that it will be caused by the destruction of the environment.

Each of these disaster peddlers gives advice in how these problems can either be averted or taken advantage of. So, we have one side telling us to recycle, ride a bicycle to work and bathe every third day while the other side is telling us to store food, stock up on guns and ammunition and put all our assets in gold.

Those of us who are reading this dire predictions don't really know what to do. We may not have the money to buy gold nor the ability to ride our bikes to work (which I do, by the way). Who can you trust? Who should you put your trust in?

I remember hearing a preacher once tell his congregation that God was still sovereign even if the person who won the election wasn't the one they had chosen.

I have seen many things that are terrible have great results. I have seen that God can take the worst of situations and make them good. I have seen murders turn into positive changes in many lives. I have seen God reveal things that would never have been seen if bad things hadn't happened.

A couple of years ago one of my church members was taking out the trash when the wind caught the trashcan. I fell back against him so hard that it cracked a couple of his ribs. The x-ray that was ordered to check his injuries revealed a spot on his lung. He began treatment for the cancer and is cancer free and alive because of what appeared to be a bad thing. Another member went to the doctor because of his sore throat to find that his heart didn't sound quite right. He is having his heart treated without any damage to the heart because of his doctor saw him with a sore throat.

If God can make these things, which appeared to be bad, turn out to the advantage of those who love Him, can't He also take our world and make what appears to be a disaster into something that will be good for those who love Him too?

God is still in control and we can still put our trust in Him.

Maybe we have gotten to the heart of the problem. Maybe our worries come from listening to the prophets of doom rather than listening to our Lord.

Yes, bad things happen to good people. But God didn't lose control when they happened. We can trust Him because He loves us.

Psalms 103:19 (NIV)
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Can't Handle the Truth?

Very few people come to me with the problems that are evident to everyone. Often, they ignore the problems by refusing to acknowledge them. They avoid getting on the scales because they are afraid of how much weight they have gained. It doesn't make them weight less nor does it make their clothes fit but it allows them to continue their eating habits and lack of exercise.

Other people will avoid opening bills from creditors. They just throw them away. It won't keep these creditors from repossessing their cars nor foreclosing on their houses. It allows them to continue spending even though they have no money to do so.

Many people go beyond ignoring their problems. They divert attention away from their problems. They blame McDonald's for their obesity, the credit card companies for their debts and the loan companies for the mortgages they should have never gotten. I have never understood how people can sue the tobacco companies for their lung diseases when it has been printed on the side of the cartons for over forty years. Didn't they notice the smoke in the room?

Jesus said the truth will set you free but people seem to be afraid that the truth will actually bind them. The truth will not let them continue their own mismanagement of their lives. It will make them realize that the damage they are doing to themselves is self-administered. They will have to say it is no one else's fault. They will have to say that they saw it coming.

The truth sets us free because we are no longer under the slavery of the lies. The lies are often told to ourselves by ourselves. The lie says that eating more than needed makes one feel better. The lie says that exercises doesn't feel good. The lie says that it is better to have things that you can't pay for and have them repossessed than to never have them at all.

This is why the Bible is so important. It delivers the truth when one remains in it. Remaining is not merely reading the Word but doing it. It is allowing that word to become a part of life.

Are you avoiding the truth? Have you gotten on the scales lately? Have you opened all the bills to see how long it would take to pay them off? Have you opened God's Word and seen where you need to make changes? Do you really like slavery?

The truth will set you free.

John 8:31-32 (NIV)
31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Lord, Pray for Me!

There  are two cases that come to my memory where Satan has asked God for permission to attack one of His servants. One is when God brings Job to mind. The other is when Jesus tells Peter that Satan has asked to "sift him like wheat." Both cases involved men who would be great witnesses for the Lord. Both of them had made life commitments to Him.

You would think that a commitment to God would guarantee God's protection, yet this is not what happens for either of these men. Job's family, possessions and health were taken from him. Peter was tempted to do what he considered the unthinkable-deny his Lord! This seems to be Satan's continuing tactics. He will either persecute or tempt God's most committed servants.

Satan did not force Peter to deny his Lord. He simply tempted him. Peter made the choice on his own. That is why Peter wept so bitterly when he realized what he had done. He knew his guilt.

Don't you find it interesting that Jesus told Peter of Satan's permission to attack him right before Peter said that he would give his life to Jesus? There had been a dispute among the disciples as to who was the greatest. They started this argument after Jesus told them that one of them would betray Him. Peter's name somehow rises to the top.

Jesus tells Peter of Satan's claim on him. Thankfully, it doesn't end there. Jesus says that He has prayed for Peter. He has asked that Peter's faith will not fail.

Peter would repent because of his faith. He would strengthen the other disciples and become the head of the Church from this faith. His faith got very small when he denied his Lord but it did not fail for it brought him back to where he needed to be.

I believe that Satan hasn't changed his tactics. He still stands before God asking permission to sift God's committed servants like wheat. I also believe that Jesus stands there too asking and receiving permission to grant the faith to those who are enduring Satan's attack.

Maybe the next time you are going through an especially difficult persecution or even the failure in a temptation you should say, "Lord, pray for me!" In this, you will agree with His prayer.

Jesus is asking that your faith not fail.

Luke 22:31-32 (NIV)
31 "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Does Your Church Lack Unity?

The Church has always sought unity. It has rarely had it. We find it in the beginning but it doesn't take long before factions have caused conflict in the Church. The Hellenistic Jews complained that their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. I wonder if the Hebraic Jews looked down on these Hellenistic Jews. The Apostles knew that this conflict needed to be solved quickly and appointed Deacons to serve the tables.

Unfortunately, many Deacons don't see their role as problems solvers, servants or those who bring unity. They think of themselves as regular members. Today they can be the instigators of disunity. Why is that?

Paul indicates in his letter to the Ephesians that unity is the product of service and maturity. It seems that everyone in church has a responsibility. We are gifted to serve. We are expected to serve. We are unified when we work together.

Understanding what brings unity reveals what causes disunity. The lack of service and maturity creates disunity in the church. There can be service without maturity but maturity guarantees service. The ultimate problem within the church is not the lack of service but the lack of maturity.
I suppose this should not shock anyone. Many of the people within the church are immature. They do not understand spiritual reasoning. They are unaware of their own involvement in disunity. In fact, they often hide in the shadows and get others to become their spokesmen. They use other immature people who can't discern the immaturity of others.

Immaturity is using fleshly excuses to work against the unity of the church. It is seen when someone complains of the lack of service he is receiving. It is perpetuated by those who don't see the immaturity in the complaints of other immature people.
For example, years ago I was in a Deacons' meeting when someone brought up a complaint by a member of the church. The member had stopped coming to church and was complaining that no one had contacted him. He started missing church to pursue a hobby. Eventually, he stopped coming altogether. He felt validated in his complaint to the church because of the lack of contact.

I said, "You mean to tell me that this man quit coming on his own and complains because no one came to get him to come back? What would happen to the church if half of our members did that? Wouldn't the other half have to work at getting them to come back? Wouldn't we drop all evangelistic efforts just to get our old members to come back? Wouldn't we have to drop all other ministries to our community? Why hasn't this vacant member repented of his absence and come back on his own? We are not responsible for running him off. He must take responsibility for his absence or very soon immature members will quickly learn what it takes to get attention. Immaturity is the same at every age."

Half of the Deacons didn't understand a word I had said. You know why.

That is why we must constantly work at seeing our churches mature. That is why the leadership in a church must be filled with mature Christians. Otherwise, we can expect disunity.

Immaturity and disunity go hand in hand.

Ephesians 4:11-13 (NIV)
11 It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12 to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Trying to Live on Made-To-Order Faith

The internet has allowed people to comment on just about everything. Even news articles have a place for comments. While I appreciate comments, I also think they should be filtered. The comments that come to this blog are filtered. I don't believe in cluttering the internet with more stupidity.

The other day I read a comment in which someone said that he believed that God didn't care how you prayed or if he was the right god because it all went to the same place. This person was essentially saying that his belief did not require a foundation. It was true because he wanted to believe it.

So, he thinks that he can pull up to the drive-through window, order his faith and pull ahead to pick it up. The order makes the faith valid. Everyone can have their own faith in their own way. You do not need to use the Bible to determine what is correct. In fact, the Bible actually gets in the way of this "made-to-order" faith.

Then, you need a "made-to-order" bible. This bible takes away the things that don't fit into the always changing, made-to-order faith. It adds things that do fit. It does not need to be consistent. It depends upon what the person wants to believe on that day.

Now, I ask, is this person being worshiped so capriciously really a god at all? I don't see how. This god seems to be more like the genie who comes out of the lamp. He is your slave, not your god.

Why should anyone believe that he can create a god in his own image? How can you call him creator when it is you that created him? What foundation can anyone stand on when their faith is as fluid as a river? Why do people actually believe they are gods who can create their own persons to worship?

None of this makes sense to me. I can't see how anyone can live on a made-to-order faith. In fact, I don't see any faith in it at all.

Romans 1:22 (NIV)
22  Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools.