Emptying Yourself from Self Loathing

 December 3, 2024

Tuesday

The Oxford Dictionary defines narcissism as: excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance. 

Now, I have a twist on this. Many people have trouble forgiving themselves for the things they have done. In fact, they think of this frequently and lament over their failures constantly. They are spending time think of themselves negatively but they are still dwelling on themselves. Is this a back-handed way of being a narcissist? 

I have often tried to convince people they are forgiven. Some simply do not accept it. They have locked themselves in a prison in which they can't escape for the jailer will not give them the key. I have wondered: Do they remain in this condition to keep themselves from repeating their mistakes? Regardless of the reason, they will not let themselves out of their own lack of forgiveness.

I have often told them that they are forgiven on the basis of the sacrifice of Jesus. If God accepts this payment for their sins and they won't, they have a higher standard than God. In other words, there is no way they can ever forgive themselves. They have given themselves a life sentence.

But this morning I was thinking of someone who won't forgive himself. He spends time trying to put himself down and calling himself a failure at every opportunity. He is spending so much time condemning himself that he has little time to consider others. If a narcissist focuses too much on himself, this man has nailed it as a narcissist.

Humble people are not people who think little of themselves. They are people who think of others more than they think of themselves. Thus, not forgiving self is a form of pride. While normal pride seeks to tell others how much better a person is. This one spends the same amount of time telling others how bad he is. The truth is that the unforgiving narcissist hasn't emptied himself of himself. He is continuing to fill himself with himself.

The person who refuses to forgive himself must admit that he is focusing on himself. He must accept the payment of Jesus to God as the forgiveness that he needs. He must know that God has forgiven him and quit thinking of himself so much. He must set his mind on the Spirit who thinks as God thinks. The failures of the past cannot continue to be dug up and hung around his neck. For if God has declared him forgiven, who can legitimately condemn him.

There is no way a person can look to the interests of others as long as he is constantly thinking of himself. Therefore:

Philippians 2:4-7 (NIV) ⁴  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵  Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: ⁶  Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, ⁷  but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.