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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Is Your Marriage Fulfilling?

I find that many unmarried people long to be married. Many of these are enamored with marriage. They believe that marriage is all roses and no thorns. Their perspective is skewed because of the distance by which they view marriage. Living with another person is not hard. Being committed until death to another person is. The first is merely friendship; the latter is marriage.

Love is a strange emotion. It seems to have no logic. People say they fall in love. It appears to be a pit covered branches that they have innocently walked over. They are captured in the pit of love and can't get out.

People believe that because they didn't have to do anything to fall in love that they will not have to do anything to stay in love. Thus, they become like many of the tom cats found in Hollywood. They roam from one to another as long as they feel something. Eventually, the relationship takes more work than they are willing to do and they roam on to others.

The continual roaming between partners leaves children who never understand what a marriage should be. It makes marriage less than fulfilling for it never builds upon commitment. Marriage that is built upon emotion without commitment can't last. Emotions can't be trusted.

I am awed at people who are totally committed to each other. There have been several people I have known who went through long terminal illnesses. Their spouses stood by them and cared for them though it brought them tremendous hardship. I have seen these remaining spouses grieve after the loss of their mates even though their deaths made the living spouses lives much easier.

I have heard it said that marriage is twenty-five years trying to figure out if you can live with your spouse followed by twenty-five years believing that you can't live without them. The key to a fulfilling marriage is a lifelong complete commitment by husband and wife to each other. The key is becoming one with each other.

Amazingly, true love is born out of that committed relationship. It is then that you are glad you are married. You have complete confidence in your spouse because he or she is completely committed to you. You stop holding back your affections because you know that commitment exists. You give of yourself freely to one another because the relationship is not based on an emotional roller coaster but on commitment.

However, even this commitment needs help. It needs a spiritual element to perfect it. It needs a strong foundation for both the husband and wife. Becoming one with each other requires a conscious spiritual and physical commitment to one another. The greatest joy in marriage is fellowship that is spiritual and physical. It truly makes for a deep communion with each other. It connects the two even when they are apart.

The only reason that people are single is because they have standards. Eliminate the standards and anyone can be married in a short time. My experience has found that the reasons married people regret their marriages is because they either didn't have any standards or that their standards weren't high enough.

Fulfilling marriages take work by two people who are totally committed to their Lord and each other. These are marriages that last for a very long time. Their commitment to their Lord gives them strength to forgive and serve each other. Their commitment to each other makes them cling to their Lord.

If your marriage isn't fulfilling you must ask yourself where it is lacking. Yes, you can do something about it. You can pray and then obey what the Spirit has told you to do. Renew your relationship even if you need to say your vows to each other again.

Then, let God bless your marriage.

2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (NIV)
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
Ephesians 5:31 (NIV)
31  "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

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