Why I Haven't Restored People to Their Faith

Most of us have walked some distance away from the Lord at some time in our lives. Many of us needed a crisis to bring us back to Him. We understand the story of the Prodigal who would look at his present circumstances and reason it is better to be a servant in the house of the Father than be in complete control of the pigpen. Therefore, we went home.

This process seems normal to us now. However, it is not God's design. Other believers should have noticed the distance between us and the Lord. They should have done something. 

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying they were responsible for my behavior. I, and you, did the walking away. We could have walked over these believers to get where we wanted to be. In fact, we probably would have.

Why don't we say something when we see others walk away from the Lord; especially when it is obvious? Here are the things I have observed in my own life.

I fail to understand that the sin has captured them. They are caught in a lie that says that the sin will not affect their relationship with the Lord. This lie says that the sin is better than walking in purity. This lie says that true joy will be found when this sin is completed. This lie says the action isn't sin at all. It is just fulfilling desire.

I, too often, see them as making a conscious choice through the whole process to complete their sinful walk. I, therefore, do not see my own responsibility of bringing them home. Unfortunately, my attitude is too often: "You made your bed. Now you will have to sleep in it!" This is a flaw in my character. It is not true love. It is an excuse for abdicating my responsibility to others.

I fail to take a gentle attitude toward them. I am more like Paul when he deals with John Mark. I will not take them on a journey with me. I understand that they will need to rebuild my trust when they return to the Lord but I must be gentle with them to bring them home. I am more likely to tell them the consequences of their harmful behavior than the benefits of walking with the Lord. Both must be said  for they temper each other. 

I don't want to go where they are. There is a measure of danger of restoring another person. You have to remain close to them while trying to call them out of their sinfulness. It means you are susceptible to what they are doing.  You must be sure that you are walking with the Lord is a strong walk before pulling someone out of sin. You must be spiritual; not merely someone who knows the Lord. This spiritual walk must be maintained carefully while you remain close to the one in sin. It is very easy to be pulled into their sin with them.

I don't like carrying others' burdens. I think I have enough of my own and leave others alone. This is a very selfish and lazy attitude. It is extremely unloving. I fail to understand the law of Christ which is a life of love which is laid down for my friends.

Surely, there are those whom I will go to who will be captured by sin anyway. I cannot bear the responsibility for their actions. I only have a responsibility for my own. I am responsible for noticing when people are captured. Trying gently to restore them while remaining close to them. I am responsible for fasting and praying that they will return to the relationship they once had with the Lord.

Would this make a difference in the way we deal with sin in the church? I think so. The flaw is not merely in those who are caught in a sin but in those who stand idly by and let them do so. I, for one, cannot allow this to continue to happen. 

I will be a part of the restoration of others.

Galatians 6:1-2 (ESV)

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

What Does God Say about Living Together without Marriage?

You may already know the answer to this. The world has distorted the truth. I have heard so many things come from the world that seeks to justify sin. Let's look at some of these things:

"We were already committed to each other so why do we need a piece of paper to allow us to live together?" This is a common explanation for people to live together. Immature Christians agree with them. But I want to ask if God sees marriage as a piece of paper. It didn't include a piece of paper when it began. It started with a commitment to God and to the other person. Adam did a couple of things which need to be done in every marriage.

He identified with his wife as one with him. He said she was flesh of his flesh. He wasn't merely claiming that she came from his rib but that he was committed to her as he was to any part of himself. It was a permanent vow to his wife.

He made this commitment before God. It was not done in the backseat of a car. It was done as he knew God was present. In fact, God gave away the first bride. There was nothing shady about the whole affair. He was not breaking a law of God. He was participating with God in this marriage ceremony.

He named his wife. This was part of his identification with her. Today, a wife generally accepts her husband's last name. This is part of her commitment to her husband as well as his identification with her. This does not come because of any piece of paper but as a sign of the agreement they are in with each other.

Now, what is different about this and a couple living together without marriage? Do I really have to answer this?

Another excuse is, "God only put those marriage laws in place to prevent pregnancy outside of marriage. This rule of God was cultural like those of not wearing jewelry or not eating shellfish." This argument makes sense if sex is merely a biological experience but the Bible does not make it such. The Bible says that the sexual act joins us with the other person and brings the presence of the Lord into the act. (1 Corinthians 6:16-17) This means that the act of sex is a bonding act. It is more than biological.

I have heard believers say, "It was only sex." This seems to indicate that sex is akin to telling a woman that she looked good in a dress when it really made her look fat. In other words, no harm; no foul. Then, why does God say that the marriage bed should be kept holy?  God points out that He will judge the fornicators and adulterers. Fornication is the act of sex without marriage.

It is clear that sex was made for marriage and marriage should include sex. The Bible is very clear about this.

Proverbs 5:18-19 (NASB)
Let your fountain be blessed,
  And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love.

Now, that's some good Bible, huh?

Is Life's Gauge on Full or Empty?

So, how's it going for you? Is life everything you expected it to be? Do you get up saying, "Good morning, God!" or "Good God, it's morning!"? Is your life boring? Do you hate going to work? Do you wonder how your marriage could get so mundane? Is church attendance more of a habit than an act of worship? Do you feel like you are merely talking to yourself when you pray? Do your children feel like more of a chore than a blessing? Are you tired all the time?

Would you like things to get better?

This is where I am supposed to tell you of the miracle cure that has been discovered by extracting the oils emitted between the toes of bats . . . or something like that. Let's see if we can use some good spiritual sense here instead.

Everyone's life has ups and downs. The idea that every day is going to be like winning the lottery is a myth. There is no one who has lived happily ever after without a few bumps in the road. There will be days that life will be hard. Jesus promised this. He said that we would have tribulation (troubles) in this world. We should expect it. We live in a fallen world.

This means everything in your life will have days when it is dull, mundane and a chore. This is not such bad news unless your whole universe is wrapped up in the moment you are in. Bad days will help us recognize God's goodness and yearn for His presence if we do not think that we have been condemned to only bad days. Things will get better no matter how bad the situation is. Even the believer who has cancer without any hope of recovery will have a complete recovery when he sees Jesus.

People who tell you that they have never had a bad day are just pretending. They have had bad days but they may have focused on their past good days or recognized that the bad days won't last. Jesus said that we should be a good courage because He had overcome the world. This means that there is nothing outside of His control to change. Positive people may simply be looking toward the good days but I assure you that they have had their share of bad days.

Everyone has days when their lives are empty. They may work to keep themselves busy so that they do not think of how things are really going but they would have to admit that their gauge is on empty if they would stop and think about it. Jesus did not come into the world to make life on this earth easy or pleasant. He came so that we might be saved. He came so that we might know we are forgiven. He came so that we would know the God who loves us. He came to teach us how to live our lives through these difficulties. He came to give us an abundant life.

Circumstances do not have to determine what we do. The Apostle Paul wrote that we should rejoice in the Lord always while he was in prison. We can rejoice while we are in the middle of a difficult time. This does not mean that the circumstances are less dire. They may be terrible but our rejoicing comes when we realize that God knows all about what we are going through and has a solution. We can rejoice and still admit things are less than optimal.

Your ministry is not determined by whether your life's gauge is on full or empty. Paul wrote much of the New Testament while he was in prison. I suppose he could have lamented that he would not have as much impact by writing letters rather than by preaching. Yet, we have no one who would attest to his preaching. We have millions who would praise God for his writing. The worst place you can be might be your most useful place.

So, your life's gauge may be full. Things are going great. You have money in the bank, the job you have always wanted, a spouse who loves you, children whom you are proud of, a nice house, two new cars and a dog that brings you your slippers and paper when you get in each evening. Good for you but it won't last forever. Life isn't like that. Even celebrities who have more money than they can spend have terrible days.

Maybe your life seems empty. Nothing is working out. You have debts past your eyeballs, a job that you hate, a spouse who tries to poison you at breakfast, children who have you, a falling down house, a car that uses more oil than gas and a dog that chews your shoes to smithereens every night. This won't last either. Life isn't like this.  Even homeless guys gather around a great Thanksgiving meal at the Salvation Army.

Is life's gauge on full or empty? So what?

I cycle. There aren't any hills in Virginia Beach but there were plenty when I was in Nashville. There was one hill that I would have to go into my lowest gear to climb. It even had a name--Red Hill. It was very hard to go up. I would have to stand on the pedals and my legs were screaming in pain as I slowly climbed that hill. Eventually, I topped the hill and had the most exhilarating ride down the other side. I couldn't have gotten to that part of the ride without climbing that hill.

Maybe empty is just a good excuse to be filled.

Philippians 4:4-5 (NIV)
⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

Humility vs the Attitude of a Loser

Many people think that they are being humble when they put themselves down. They make fun of themselves, call themselves stupid, clumsy, ugly or any number of deprecating characteristics. They fail to see what they are doing. They are saying that God did a very poor job with His creation. These people may call themselves "rotten ole sinners" and believe this is what God wants them to call themselves. They are saying that God is unable to do anything with them. They are giving themselves an excuse to be a loser.

These potential losers cannot see God's plans bigger than they have right now. They can't see that God who made their mouths could have them speak for Him. They do not see that God who created their intellect could have them create something magnificent for Him. They do not see that God is working on them at all. They can only see what is in front of them and it scares them to think bigger thoughts. They are afraid of having their fears confirmed with failure. They are afraid that others will agree with them in their own deprecation.

Therefore, they will depreciate their jobs and their churches. They will make excuses every time you enter their cars or houses. They make themselves small and hope that someone will tell them that they are bigger than they are claiming to be.

However, their attitude will never let them get beyond where they are. They will be losers because they have determined it. They have judged themselves with their own words and condemned themselves with their attitudes.

Losers cannot be humble. They are thinking of themselves too much to be so.

Humble people do not think little of themselves; they don't think of themselves at all. Humble people realize that there is a power that is greater than they are. They realize that the plans that God has for them are bigger than they are. They are amazed that God has chosen them and they count it as a privilege. They see themselves as God's children. They see themselves as royalty. They know they have incredible privileges because of who they are. They can accomplish anything when God has called them into it.

Humble people know that God is always working on them. They do not call themselves, who are God's creation, deprecating names. They know they have sinned but they do not condemn themselves as sinners. They know that they do not possess the strength to be great outside of God's power so they give Him all the glory for the things He is doing in their lives. They do not condemn themselves to what they are because they know there is something better and God is presently bringing it to them.

I know that my God is big enough to make me better than I am. I know that it is He who is my strength. I know that I am wonderfully made. I am because of the great I AM. I am a winner. I am His.

Philippians 4:13 (NIV)
¹³ I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Blaming Others for Our Sins

Adam and Eve have eaten the forbidden fruit. They have lost their innocence. They are confronted by God. When Adam is asked if he has eaten what he shouldn't he replies, "The woman you put here with me--she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Did Adam just blame God for his sin?

That seems to be the method of many unrepentant people. They blame others for causing them to sin. Someone doesn't come to church so they blame the church for not checking on them. Someone commits adultery so she blames her husband for not giving her enough attention. Someone embezzles from his business and he blames the lack of controls which would have prevented him for doing so. Does this really make sense?

The repentant person admits that he has sinned. He admits that he has fallen short of God's glory. He admits that he is responsible. Yes, there are contributing factors but they did not force a person to sin. Rape is rape because a person is forced to commit the act. It is not a sin. Adultery is a sin because no one forces the person to commit adultery. Should we accept the explanations and give absolution because someone has a contributing factor to their sins?

It bothers me that people are doing that very thing. They are taking the responsibility for others sins. The church members are accepting the sin of a member because they did not stop that member from sinning. The spouse is saying he didn't spend enough time with his wife and takes responsibility for the affair. All the while people are quoting, "Judge not; lest ye be judged."

Let's admit it. There will be no change without repentance. There will be no repentance as long as others are blamed. There will be no change without going a different direction. The direction will not be changed as long as nothing has to be changed.

Newton's first law of motion states: "Unless acted upon by a net external force, a body, at rest, will remain at rest and a body, in motion, will remain in motion." Let's apply that to sinfulness. A person will remain in his sin unless responding to the Holy Spirit who will convict him of his sin. He confesses (says the same as God says about the sin in that he acknowledges that he needs repentance) and is cleansed from all unrighteousness.


Newton's second law of motion states: "If net external force on a body is zero, then its velocity remains constant." Applying this to sin. Sin remains constant if there is nothing changing the sin.

We can neither give the responsibility for our sins to others nor accept the responsibility for others' sins. Conviction, confession and repentance keeps our whole society from getting worse and worse. We just can't blame others for our sins.

Psalm 51:4 (NIV)
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.

How Do People Lose Their Faith?

Faith is not merely an intellectual matter. In fact, much of our understanding which has been called intellectual must be ignored to have faith. For example: reason says that the meek shall have nothing for they have fought for nothing. Faith says that the meek shall inherit the earth. Reason says that needs must be sought by the one who needs them. Faith says that the one who seeks God first will have his needs met.

Faith is not a measure of intellect. Many very intelligent people have given their lives to Christ. Many have not. Many people of average or less than average intellect have given their lives to Christ. Many of these also have not.

Faith is found in the heart. It is not a matter of the brain. The mind believes it, the feeling feel it and the will determines it. It is not something that can be explained. It is not something which feeds the intellect nor deprives the intellect.

People allow other things to crowd out their faith when they fail to guard their hearts. They will get involved in a sport or work at times when they need to be guarding their hearts. They will reason that they are not under the law that says they must read their Bibles and pray every day. They will reason that most people miss church a few weeks a year. They will reason that they need their money more than the church does. They will reason that everyone falls off the spiritual wagon every once in a while.

Their faith has moved from their hearts to their intellect.. It becomes reasonable and it is not reasonable to deny yourself anything you want.

From here it is a short trip to no faith at all. Faith cannot exist as something that can be reasoned in a fallen world. The intellect of a fallen world will give a fallen reasoning. And from here any sin can be launched. The heart has been lost. The faith has been subdued.

Proverbs 27:19 (NKJV)
As in water face reflects face, So a man's heart reveals the man.

Jesus Changes Jerks

I have acted like a jerk before. I may have been tired or frustrated. I may have been irritated by something. It isn't an excuse for acting like a jerk. There is no real justification. It is the action of a person who does not care how he acts when he is less than comfortable. However, acting like a jerk does not make me a jerk.

The trouble is that some people aren't acting. They are jerks. They are merely expressing what they have in their hearts. It may be fear, pride or selfishness that makes them jerks. It may be hatred of events in their lives or hatred of people in general that keeps them current among jerks. Loneliness may make someone a jerk and keep them as such.

I ask myself why a person is presenting himself as a jerk. Did I do something that makes people act like this or is this something deep in their hearts. Most of the time I will never know. None of my friends are jerks. I haven't had much desire to hang around jerks. I don't think they would want me to anyway.

The only way to change a jerk is to change his heart. That is not something that we can do. We neither have the right nor the ability to change another person's heart.

God said He wanted to give us new hearts. That would certainly change a jerk into a new creation.

Have you ever thought what kind of jerk you would be if not for Jesus changing your heart? Have you ever thought what you might have become?

I heard a preacher ask his congregation to stand if they had participated in the sins Paul mentions in 1 Corinthians. I decided to do the same thing is my own congregation. I read the scriptures and ask if they would stand if they had participated in any of those sins. The whole congregation stood at once. (Even those asleep stood up but didn't know why!)

Yes, Jesus changes us. . .even jerks.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (NIV)
⁹ Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders ¹⁰ nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. ¹¹ And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.