To Judge or Not to Judge

I heard the same news you probably heard. A young lady who was on a children's television program announced she was pregnant and sixteen. It's amazing how this has become the talk of the talk shows. Some defend her and some castigate her. I haven't heard anyone speak to the problem yet.

The problem is not that she is pregnant. Pregnancy is not a sin. There will most probably be the birth of a wonderful child in the next several months. Neither the pregnancy nor the birth is a sin. Pregnancy is not a sin but it may reveal sin. The problem was the sexual activity that was going on.

I know that there are many who claim that the church has such a "Victorian" concept about sex. They claim we are suppressing sexual urges. If we are, we aren't doing it very effectively! I see the magazine racks when I check out at the grocery store. They are replete with articles of sex. It's talked about through many educational tv shows. The movies and other media programs still see it as tantalizing enough for viewers to watch. It has been generally accepted by the media that it is normal and should be done by mature people.

It seems to me that no one is speaking about the elephant in the room. What has been the result of casual sex? Does anyone want to know?

I counsel people and I can tell you from being in the ministry for over twenty-five years my observances.

1. Casual sex steals the intimacy away from marriage. It is intended to be something that is so carefully kept that you only share it with one person.
2. It puts an emphasis on size, performance or anything else which can be used for comparison. It has brought more paranoia to the bedroom than anything else I can imagine. Neither person should be able to compare so that it is truly always "good" for the other.
3. It encourages suspicion in a committed relationship. Since sex doesn't require a commitment, why shouldn't it be done outside of the marriage relationship? Those who have had casual sex are often suspicious of their spouses after marriage. This is not good for the relationship.
4. It encourages cheating on the spouse. Again, it didn't take a commitment to have sex in the first place, so why not with this other person who seems willing?
5. It contributes to the decline of the family. Sex causes pregnancy. If there is no need for commitment of the first, why not the second? Why get married? Why stay together? Why not have serial marriages?

The media banters around whether this pregnant young lady should be a role model for the target audience of 7-11. I believe she could be. She could tell them that there are things you do that seem to be fun at the time but have serious consequences. She could share her heart in how she wished she had kept herself chaste.

I have no interest in beating her up, telling her what she did was wrong or extracting a pound of flesh from her. This is neither my place nor my desire. I would hope people would gather around her and give her their words of encouragement. However, I don't think they should praise her for what she did.

I have heard some comments that said, "Well, she could have gotten an abortion. See how good she is." That seems to absolve any bad she has done. Okay then, let's try this one:

Billy Bomb embezzles $100 million from his company. Suddenly, he is rich. It is not a sin to be rich. He sees his new wealth as a way to spred some good around the world. He gives half of his stolen money to the National Cancer Society. Should we say it was just peachy that he embezzled and his gift makes up for his sin? If we believe this, why did we prosecute the guys at Enron?

Finally, I have no judgement for this young lady. Judgement requires a sentence. I am neither qualified to do so nor do I want the job. I know that God loves her as much as He ever did. He wants to cover her with His love and walk with her through the time for her to give birth. If He would do so, so should we.

Would You Buy from a Crook?

Recently I went to one of the big box electronics stores to redeem an offer that apparently gave The offer said, "Save $5 Today" The condition was that I reserve a copy of a DVD that was coming out December 4 which would allow me to get an extra $5 taken from any other Disney DVD priced $14.99 or more. The offer expired December 18. When I picked up my movie I asked for my $5 discount. They informed me that the offer was only for the day that I reserved the movie. They pointed to the "Today" and said I had to get a movie on that day and it was no longer valid. Honestly, I got mad, told the manager what I thought of their business practices and vowed to myself that I can no longer shop in that store.

Do you think that is too rash? I mean, we are only talking about $5, right? Sometimes the very best deals you can get are found in that store. Am I cutting off my nose to spite my face?

I don't think so. These people were deceptive with their ad. I took the ad to several others without prompting and asked them what they thought the ad said. They all came to the same conclusion as I did without me telling them how to read the ad.

The store told me that no one else misunderstood the ad. This comes when people realize they have been taken and do not want to admit it. They feel foolish and do not want others to realize their embarrassment.

I will not buy from them again because they are crooks. If you knowingly do business with a crook you become partners with them in their crime. It keeps that crook in business. It encourages them to continue in their cons. Even if I see a product that they have that is much cheaper than I can get somewhere else, I cannot buy from them. It is now a matter of principle.

I am not on a crusade to destroy the store. I just can't buy from crooks.

Lost with No Solution

Last week I got lost while driving to a familiar place. I really don't know how it happened. I went the wrong direction and soon had no clue where I was. My first problem was that I thought I knew where I was going so I didn't need to think about it. I was on auto but my software (contained in my IBM- Itty, Bitty Mind) needed an upgrade.

Once I knew I was lost I also knew what I didn't know. I didn't know where I was. There is no one you can call to give you directions if you can't tell them where you are. Besides, I didn't want to tell people that I got lost going to a familiar place. Yes, one that I have been to many times. They will surely ask what was wrong with me.

So, I wandered. I drove around hoping that I would see something that would trigger my memory. The more time I looked, the faster I began to drive. I can't say I had become frantic but I figured I would start getting calls if I didn't show up soon. I would have to confess to being lost. That would be embarrassing.

It's not like this is the first time this has happened to me. One night when I lived in Nashville, I was going home and turned one street earlier than I should. Both streets had a street light and both were dark streets. They had a lot of similarities in the way the houses looked. I just wasn't thinking. Suddenly I was at a dead end. My street continued on and I looked around. I didn't know these houses and couldn't even tell how I had gotten here. Once I turned around and went back to where I had turned I knew exactly what I had done.

This time was different. I had made so many turns I didn't know how to get back to where I had made my mistake. I thought, "Could the Lord use this to teach me something?" He did.

I believe most people wonder what is going to happen to them when they die. Sometimes they come up with their own solutions but they also know that these are their own solutions. They continue hoping to get some confirmation that they are right or, at least, some direction in which way they should go.

They listen to their friends who seem to be very convicted of what will happen. They don't know that their friends say these things with conviction but have no clue whether or not they are right. No one wants to admit that they are clueless so they speak with apparent confidence.

They are afraid to say, "I am lost here. Can you help me?" They believe that this will reveal that there is something wrong with them. They hope that believing something sincerely will make it true. They believe that God surely must grade on the curve so He should let just about everyone into Heaven. They feel lost with no solution.

I didn't like feeling that way. I don't want others to feel that way. There is no safety in being lost. It makes you extremely vulnerable. There is no joy in being lost- only worry when we take time to think.

If you would like to have some reassurances feel free to email me. I promise I won't say something is wrong with you. In fact, there is something extremely right with you. I will keep it all very confidential. Just don't keep wandering. Go for an answer.

Do You Know Why You Are Here?

A few years ago Rick Warren wrote a book to help people find their purpose in life. Millions bought the book. I suppose you would think that we now have millions of people who know their purpose. There were all kinds of wondrous stories about the book but largely society seems to keep going the same direction it was before the book. I wonder if a lot of people gave copies of the book to their friends who never read it. I wonder if others would rather have a best seller on their shelves than to read one.

Many people do not want to know what their purpose is. They would rather go with the flow rather than have to stop and think if what they are doing will fulfill their purpose. Purpose becomes a standard to evaluate yourself. You can always draw a bullseye around whatever you hit and call yourself a success as long as you don't have a predetermined standard.

A true purpose becomes work. It drives you to do what you were intended to do. Do I need to say that many people don't like work? I find people staying up late each night playing video games or watching movies while they deprive themselves of sleep because they want to squeeze as much of the time away from work as they can. Many of them work at not working when they get to work. They have no pride in what they do but assume they are wonderful just because they are human beings. After all, doesn't everyone get an award these days so that no one will feel left out?

People will justify all of this when they know the end of their lives are in sight. Some of this comes from what they have watched on tv. They will say things like, "I have made my peace with God." There is no truth in that statement but they heard some actor say and it seemed to make everyone feel better at the time so they figure it is something they should say. I wonder if they have any idea what "peace with God" really is.

How can you say you have made peace with God when He had a fulfilling purpose for your life and you rejected it all your life? How can you say you have peace with God apart from knowing His Son, Jesus?

Years ago I discovered my purpose and it freed me to be what God has called me to be. It has been the most invigorating, fulfilling and significant thing to infect my life. I would not want life to be without it. It is found in a verse:

Philippians 3:10 (NIV) " I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,"

I have not fulfilled my purpose yet. God's purpose is a lifetime pleasure.

Sometimes I fail to remember my purpose but God still draws me back to it again and again. When I am fulfilling my purpose I have true peace with God. I have significance because I am in the middle of something eternal.

I want everyone to know their life purpose. Do you know why you are here?

God Is Not Like Your Uncle Ernie

Uncle Ernie worked for the railroad for over forty years. He could tell stories of his glory days when he did things that saved many disasters. The railroad was eternally indebted to Uncle Ernie. The railroad gave him a gold watch and nice retirement.

Uncle Ernie and Aunt Martha lived frugally. She took ten percent of each of her husband's paychecks and invested it. By the time Uncle Ernie died they were millionaires. That did not change anything about the way they lived.

A couple of years ago Aunt Martha died. It broke Uncle Ernie's heart. It seemed that the only thing that mattered to Uncle Ernie was family. Of course, Uncle Ernies wealth kept the family coming over. Now, Uncle Ernie can't seem to take care of himself so he is in a nursing home. The family still visits.

Each family member thinks that there is a good chance that Uncle Ernie will make him rich if he continues to visit. Each family member hopes that Uncle Ernie will give him something everytime he visits the nursing home. They all believe that Uncle Ernie has no use for all that money and each of them believes he can make better use of it. So, they visit and hope that Uncle Ernie will give them something for their troubles.

Uncle Ernie knows why they have come. He is truly glad to see them. He actually does give them a little of his money at times. It isn't regular. This way they keep coming and Uncle Ernie only has to give them something some of the time.

The family has made it clear. Uncle Ernie lives for them.

Some of Christianity has become like this. We go to church to see our Nursing Home God. He is so glad to see us that some of the time He gives us what we want. We all hope that He will make us rich someday. We tell the story to others. He has so much and He just wants to give it away. If we just believe and keep coming our ship will come in. God will give us more than we can imagine. He doesn't expect us to confess or have true hearts that please Him--O, No we can't even mention that when we meet! He really lives for us; certainly not us for Him.

So books are sold and huge churches are filled with this message of the Nursing Home God. He has had some really great stories to tell in His past but now His only power is to give away everything that He has.

Does this seem really shallow to you? Do you not think that God expects us to become conformed to the image of His Son? Don't you think that means there will be times when our devotion to Him will force us to look at our sins and see how horrible they really are?

No, I don't think God is like your Uncle Ernie.

Did You Hear What They Said?

The infomercial was telling of another amazing invention. They were selling a razor that would never get dull, would never need to be replaced; it was the last razor that you will ever have to buy. It also came at an amazing price but if you would order right now you could get two of these razors!

Think about it. If it never gets dull, never needs to be replaced and it is the last razor you will ever have to buy--why do you need two? Yes, you could use one for travel- but why not just pack the one you have? Yes, you could give one away--oh, come on, who gives one of those double bladed razors as a gift? The only real reason people would buy two is to replace the first one.

Why is it that people want to believe in a pancea for all things that could go wrong? People want razors that never wear out, knives that never get dull (Yes, I bought the Ginsu years ago.), Dust cloths that last forever, etc.

Why do we buy the books that say that there are remedies that others don't want us to know about? Why do we buy these natural miracle herbs which will make us lose weight, grow hair and take the wrinkles out of our faces? Why don't we read the disclaimers that are on the infomercials: "These results are not typical" "The Food and Drug Administration has not evaluated these claims" "Results vary" Do we really believe there is a vast conspiracy to keep us from living healthy lives?

Most discoveries in medicine or science are not made in someone's garage. Most of the things people take which are an easy way to get what they want don't work. Eating right and exercise will do more to make you healthy than most of the supplements being sold.

Its all down to what put inside yourself and how you work those things out that make a difference. I heard one guy say that there was a pill that would help you sleep better, increase your energy level, control your blood pressure, increase your red blood cells, help your respiration, help you get to the ideal body weight and improve your looks. The only problem was that this pill had to be taken every day and it took THIRTY MINUTES TO SWALLOW IT! The pill is called exercise.

Most of the things in life worth having are worth fighting for. There is no "last one you will ever need" or any other panacea for the ills in your life. You want a good marriage- you will have to fight for it. If you want a good bank account- you will have to fight for it. If you want a good walk with the Lord- you will have to fight for it.

The next time you hear an infomercial make sure you check it out. Make sure you listen to what they have said.

I heard one person say that their success was due to luck. "Yes," they said, "pure luck. I have found the harder I work; the luckier I get."

Do All Dogs Go to Heaven?

We have a Jack Russell Terrier. (Several of you are nodding at this point and already know what I am about to say.) Her name is Jackie. She is the most loving dog we have ever owned--though I use the word "owned" loosely. No one owns this dog. She is her own person.

Once we had a ham which was pushed back in our freezer until we forgot about it. We found the ham when we cleaned out the freezer. My wife simply threw it in the trash. We left the house with the ham in the trash and the dog in the house. Upon returning the trash was strewn all over the house. Jackie's punishment for getting in the trash is having to stay outside. She was waiting by the door in acticipation of her banishment. We put her out and picked up all the trash but forgot about the ham.

That night we let her back into the house and she went to sleep in the rocker recliner next to our bed right after we went to bed. About thirty minutes after we went to bed I heard the recliner squeek as it does when Jackie gets either into or out of it. About thirty minutes later I hear it squeek again. Then, every hour later the same sequence of events occurs.

When we got up Jackie is desperate for water. We filled her bowl twice and she drank it as fast as she could. On the way out of the bedroom my wife tripped over the ham bone. Jackie had eaten the entire ham overnight. We put the whole crime together from the evidence.

After finding the ham Jackie ate as much as she could while we were gone. She made sure that she had hidden the ham in our bedroom before we got home. She did not touch the ham as long as we were home and awake but had every intention of having snacks all night as soon as we went to bed. She waited until she thought we were asleep before she got up and ate as much as she could. Then, she would take a little nap in between snacks so that she could eat more. This ham made her incredibly thirsty since one bowl of water would not slake her thirst.

This nefarious crime was premeditated. It was not a crime of passion but one in which she carefully thought out her actions. She took her punishment for getting into the trash knowing we would forget about the ham since she had taken everything out of the trash can, scattered it to the maximum limit of the house and hung her head like she was really sorry for her crime just before we put her outside. She cleverly deceived us.

I think Beagles will probably go to heaven. We had a Beagle and she was one of the sweetest dogs you could ever own. I think sheep dogs will go. They work hard for their keep. However, I don't think we will find any Jack Russell Terriers in heaven--at least not Jackie!

What do you think?