Everybody wants to be somebody. It is in our nature. Maybe its part of the reason I write this blog. . . no, I am sure its part of the reason I write this blog. It's okay because I am doing it for Jesus, right?
On one hand, most of us don't want to be ignored. On the other, we have heard that it is wrong to want to be noticed (unless its for Jesus, again). So, we deny that anything we do is done in our own power or greatness when things go right and pound ourselves to pieces if things go wrong. We take pleasure in the success and extreme pain in the failure.
So, do I fade into obscurity when I fail to be faithful and turn up the lights when I am? Am I saying that the faithful Christian life will bring me fame and fortune while any deviation from this life will cause me to crash in flames?
Honestly, I feel better about myself when the church is packed. I love it when they laugh at my terrible jokes. I revel in people walking down the aisles after a sermon. I hang on every word I hear from people who tell my how much their lives have changed since hearing my sermons.
And I say, "Thanks for your kind words but I have to give all the glory to Jesus." If that is true then why do I feel so much better about myself? Shouldn't I be more neutral? The rock star sings someone else's songs and revels in the applause.
I am not saying that we should be joyous about our own faithfulness. I am saying that you can be perfectly faithful and still get crucified. Shouldn't my joy come from the faithfulness rather than the applause?
Some of you reading this blog already know what the problem is. There is nothing wrong with desiring applause. The error comes in whom I seek to give me applause. Do I desire the applause from a fallen humanity or a holy God?
What happens if I fade into human obscurity? What if no one remembers my name nor what I have said? What if no one reads my blog? In fact, what happens if I am castigated, criticized and abhorred for what I have done even though it was all done because I have been faithful to the Lord?
Yes, all this happens but I find that upon entering heaven the Lord says, "My joy has been in you. Well done!" What good would an earthly rock star status be then?
John 15:11 (ESV)
11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you,
and that your joy may be full.
2 comments:
What you are talking about is the subject of significance. Man looks for significance. The solution is NOT to tell a man NOT to look for significance; it does NOT work. It is even NOT exaggerating to say that without significance a man dies! So, what is the issue here? What is the problem, here?
I want to give us 2 accounts, the first of which is that of my sister's friend, and then the next one, it got to do with me.
The friend of my sister was married into a very rich family, and their businesses are flourishing, but my sister told me that this friend of hers was pestering her (my sister) to buy from her (the friend), some direct selling products. My sister was not needing the products, but felt maybe she should oblige the friend. I said to my sister, this, "But she has no need of such income whatsoever, right?". I am sure I am right, but, I never forget what my sister's reply was - everybody tries to find for himself or herself, significance, right?! She was a tai-tai (loaded married woman who has lots to spend), but she felt she needed to convince herself that she could feed herself!
2nd a/c: I have had miracles in my divine healing ministry before, and instantaneous ones included the cases of ministees' legs growing before my own eyes when I prayed for them. But my ministry has been without much "sound and music" or fireworks, for quite some times, now. Now, this is even despite I have left my full-time job last year, to concentrate on ministry. So, I am no longer an accountant, but a man running around praying and counselling people who are sick and in afflictions of life; not busy at all (despite NOT holding a regular job anymore), but that is what I do.
But last Sunday, I was like a little boy, went telling people here, and people there, I had had just witnessed a miracle through my prayer. This was my 3rd case of miracle of the same type - leg growing from my prayer for a person. I have had 2 other cases, before, couple of years back, but this time it was different; different NOT in how it happened, but in my state of being. In fact, how it happened was the same for all 3 cases, in the church, in my usual ministry to people in the church. It was different, because it gives me a sense of significance that has eroded because I was no longer holding a regular job, and my ministry tent has been getting smaller and smaller. I needed to know the Lord is still having me as His "male nurse"; that I am still having the job, so to speak.
cont...
cont. from above
Even I am looking for significance. Was I looking for applaud of men, when I went round telling people of the miracle? I like to believe that it was NOT, but why did I do that? It was an overjoy, and overjoy of knowing I am still having the job with the Lord, so to speak, and NOT I am running around without the Lord with me. It feels good just knowing the Lord could use me, even if His intent was to bless the ministee. The Lord could have chosen any other to pray for the ministee, but he has chosen me. And so, the Lord has chosen to bless me, too - to assure me that all that I have been doing in ministry more recently was NOT entirely my own doing, without Him actually in it.
Am I looking for significance in my works for the Lord? Yes, but it is more, my significance is also in knowing the Lord cares for me, that I needed encouragement from Him. Correctly, our significance should be rooted in "God loves us". And our response ought to be we to love Him back, and our acts of love included our serving Him, even if it meant sacrificing, and even if it meant we would NOT see the fruit of labour presently.
Can't I have my significance in men (or earthly things)? You can, but it is likely to disappoint you. You can, but it is likely NOT able to satisfy you, and it is likely NOT able to give you peace and joy of a certain consistency.
Anthony Chia, high.expressions
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