When You Can't Forgive Yourself

 April 23, 2024

Tuesday

Too often, people come to see me who are burdened by guilt. They have asked the Lord for forgiveness but they can't forgive themselves. I know the Lord doesn't want people condemning themselves. What can they do when they have already confessed, repented and asked for the Lord's forgiveness?

Let's clear up a couple of things. Regret is not the same as guilt. Regret wishes that the sin never happened. It may even regret that the sin was discovered. Regret can be good. It can keep a person from getting near the sin. Regret can be bad. It can make the person resolve to hide the sin better so that it will not be caught.

People tell me that they don't "feel" forgiven. Feelings do not always reveal the truth. When I was in high school a hypnotist came to entertain us. Several in the crowd were chosen to be hypnotized. Once they were under, they were told they were chickens. They clucked and scratched. I believed at the time that they thought they were chickens. (I wonder if they were just acting for the crowd now.) Regardless, of whether they felt like they were chickens or we felt that they felt like they were chickens the truth is that they weren't chickens. (Though today I am not sure if a court of law might declare you a chicken because you felt like one.)

Truth is found in a Person.

John 14:6 (NASB 2020) ⁶ Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except through Me.

That Person is found in God's word. (Not the only place but a very good place to start.)

John 1:1 (NASB 2020)

¹ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Jesus doesn't just tell the truth. He is the truth. What He has done and what He says is truth. Anything that disagrees with Jesus is a fake. When Jesus says that you are forgiven, you are forgiven. Case closed!

Recently, I paid off my house. I went to the bank and asked what I needed to do to no longer have a house payment. I thought I would just pay off the principal but there are added fees for filing a paid off loan at the court house. The bank gave me an exact amount. I suppose I could have said, "These people have been making money off me for years. They have only raised my house payment when the taxes or insurance went up. I should give them more money than they said was necessary." Would you do that? That's exactly what you are doing when you won't forgive yourself.

Jesus' blood was the payment for your sin. You are saying that your standard requires a higher payment that Jesus' blood. So, you have decided to overpay for your sins. However, you have nothing to pay that with. All you have is Monopoly money. No matter how much of it you pay, it won't be enough. Until you accept the blood of Jesus, you will feel guilty.

How did you accept Jesus? You did so by faith. You established a relationship with Him by faith. And forgiveness is something you must accept by faith. 

So, ask God for faith to forgive yourself. It is a gift that He gave for your salvation. It is a gift that He gives to accept who He is. (Ephesians 2:8-9) And declare that you are forgiven by the payment of Jesus' blood. You know that you can't overpay that.

1 John 1:9 (NASB 2020) ⁹ If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.