Consoling the Grieving

 November 22, 2024

Friday

One Sunday evening several years ago, a lady came screaming into the church. She cried, "My baby's not breathing!" I turned to one of my deacons and told him that he needed to give the Sunday evening message because I was going with this family to the Emergency Room. There, the baby was revived. Today that child is in her twenties and very healthy.

The family overwhelmingly thanked me. 

Now for the strange part. I can't remember saying anything to them. Sure, I silently prayed on the way to the hospital and in the waiting room but I was silent when it came to saying anything that made any difference. A long time later I realized that when people are grieving or believing that something bad has or is happening, the words don't make as much of a difference as your presence.

Most people do not know what to say when they try to console someone who has lost a family member to death. They desperately want to make things better. Somehow they think they can say something that eases the grief. Of course, that means they will say what they have heard said. "If there is anything you need . . . I am so sorry for your loss," and etc. In their hearts they do not think they have made anything better.

It isn't what we say. It is that we are there with them. It isn't the flowers are the Hallmark card that we picked out. It isn't the food we might bring over. The grieving people just need to know that you are with them. Showing up in their grief is the greatest thing you can do.

Have you ever wondered why it was noted that certain women were there at the cross. They may have watched from a distance but that was a lot closer than those who were hiding. They were there with Jesus when He took our sins upon Himself. They were there when He was in unimaginable pain. They were there with Him when He died. They were with Him.

So, the next time you go to console a grieving person remember, this person may need a hug more than a word. They absolutely need your presence.

Matthew 27:55–56 (NASB 2020)⁵⁵ And many women were there watching from a distance, who had followed Jesus from Galilee while caring for Him. ⁵⁶ Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of the sons of Zebedee.