Immaturity Is Invisible to the Immature

I suppose I have never thought of myself as immature. This must be a characteristic of being immature. I can look back and see immaturity, though. I see what I have done or attitudes I have had and know them as immature now.

One of those immature periods was in thinking that everything was going to be fine if I just had. . . whatever. If I just graduated from seminary. If I just obtained my D. Min. If I just went to a large enough church. If I just built this or had this technology or . . . whatever.

When things weren't just fine after I had these things, I always found a way to blame something. It was the lack of giving of the members, it was the church location, it was the church reputation, it was a staff member or it was . . . whatever. And, oh yes, I sometimes blamed God.

What I failed to do was look in the mirror. Maybe I didn't want to admit it, but much of the problem was me. Much of the problem was my own arrogance. I was quite glad to tell God what I needed to be doing without truly asking Him. I was quite glad to remain who I was without walking with Him and becoming more. I was quite glad to make excuses for partial obedience while calling it complete obedience. I had never lived in the moment. I lived in the future I had created. It wasn't my calling because it had nothing to do with calling. It was just my own desires trying to make them God's desires. I failed to look in the mirror to see who was a fault.

Immaturity often fails to look in the mirror. Many fail to do so. They can't imagine that their problems may have been their problems because of what they have done or failed to do.

So, I am reading 1 John 1:9 a couple of days ago while thinking of God's wonderful love that welcomes us home with just a confession (which includes repentance by the way). It was then that God interrupted my bliss with verse 10.

1 John 1:10 (ESV) ¹⁰  If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

The truth is: it is rarely solely the fault of others. Most of the time, I own some of the blame. In fact, if my actions were different, maybe the other factors would either never have happened or wouldn't make much difference in the results. 

You see, I wasn't owning up to my own sin. I acted like I had none at all. That is truly immature.